that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
vagina is talking i cant
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize