I can tuck mytits in my pants
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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