ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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