You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
My hand turned me down
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
