Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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