Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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