Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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