I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
