So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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