so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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