who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
