Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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