Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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