I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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