But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
