Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
