hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
