And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
