just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
