Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
