Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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