I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
We are two peas in an std pod
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
