I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
