ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
