So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
