When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize