I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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