I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
