I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
