I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
