He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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