Non-Jews are for practice
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize