Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
