Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
She told me I should be a condom model.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
