how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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