I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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