Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Randomize
