I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
