Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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