wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
