Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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