You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Watching her eat just hurts me
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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