OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
