my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
