Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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