sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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