yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
