Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize