he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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