I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
