Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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