My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
