you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
