she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
The uberlube is also flammable
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
