He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
