Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
i came on her dog
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
