Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
